‘Have you heard about David Rockefeller?’

‘Of course I have,’ she begins, like she begins all sentences, followed by answering the question in mid-sentence, ‘we read about him in our first year MBA classes’, and goes on to build her case, ‘I mean every MBA student reads about the success story of the Rockefellers, and David Rockefeller is worshipped the world over by all businessmen,’ and finally, ends her sentence like she ends all sentences, ‘what’s wrong with you?!’

So the complete sentence comes thus: ‘Of course I have, we read about him in our first year MBA classes. I mean every MBA student reads about the success story of the Rockefellers, and David Rockefeller is worshipped the world over by all businessmen, what’s wrong with you?!’

And then comes the parting remark: ‘Dude, your socialist ideas ain’t gonna work in today’s times.’

***

‘I do not like corporate globalization… I am opposed to it,’ said I.

(Then after some days) …

‘Let’s take a look around in Shopper’s stop. It’s my favorite shopping place,’ said I.

‘Why can’t you buy clothes off the road for heaven’s sake!, and you said you are against corporates and corporatization, then how can you buy at Shopper’s Stop!!! You are such a hypocrite and you have also become such a psuedo of late, you copy what others do and there’s nothing you that’s left of you. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?!’

***

‘Have you seen The Godfather? Did you like it?’

Let’s speculate the answer to be: ‘I don’t know why men have such a thing for violence and gangsters and elevating them to the level of gods and worshipping them. Hypocrites!’

But it routinely stuck to the earlier format: ‘Of course I have seen The Godfather… I mean I am an advertising student for heaven’s sake and The Godfather is a classic movie shown in all advertising classes, what’s wrong with you?!’

***

‘Have you read Atlas Shrugged?’

‘Of course I have read Atlas Shrugged!’

‘Should I read it, too? Or recommend me a book to read.’

‘No! You already read The Fountainhead and there’s absolutely nothing she has to say in that book coz whatever she had she already said it in The Fountainhead and she only repeats what she said earlier. If you wish to read something new and if you wish to learn how to write well -- and please don’t stick to the dead and gone classic writing, please grow out of it -- then please read some contemporary Indian writers like Amitav Ghosh, Kiran Desai, Jhumpa Lehri, etc. Why do you wanna always read The Fountainhead and Gone with the wind, why can’t you grow out of it, why do you have such a fascination for Victorian era English, what’s wrong with you?!’

***

‘Why do women pre-suppose so many things and then wage pre-emptive war like America?’

‘Women do not, repeat do not, presuppose anything, they have a highly analytical mind and they objectively assess all available data and reach a conclusion. And women never wage any kind of wars. Peace and women came from Venus to inhabit Mother Earth whereas men were twin born with wars in Mars, what’s wrong with you?!’

****